I Peed On A Stick Today…


3.22.16: 4 weeks 2 days

After the failure of our last embryo transfer of two donor egg embryos in October 2015, we took a break. We needed to re-group, and I needed to give my body a break. We had three donor egg embryos left, but were not sure what our next step would be. The failed embryo transfer in October was our second failed embryo transfer attempt so we really didn’t know what we wanted to do with the three donor egg embryos that were left.

In case I decided to try again, I started acupuncture. I have to admit that being a physician, I have always been a bit, OK a lot, skeptical of any alternative therapies, but I figured why not? I had heard good things about it and some women swear by it. It wasn’t going to hurt anything, and I certainly had nothing to lose.

We enjoyed the holidays and went on a life-changing trip to Peru for the New Year. It was unbelievable. I came back feeling somewhat hopeful, so I told my husband that I wanted to try again. He was hesitant at first. He had thought that if we did try again, we would go straight to a surrogate. I was a bit surprised that he felt that way, but oftentimes while battling infertility over the past two years, we have found ourselves on different pages. After some discussion and talking things over with our fertility specialist, we decided that we would hold on a surrogate and go for it.

It was really important for me that I try again. I wanted the experience of carrying a baby. . My genetic contribution had already been taken away from me so being pregnant was something I really wanted to experience. This decision was very difficult, though. I almost felt guilty for taking two of the last three embryos for myself knowing that my body had already rejected three embryos in two different embryo transfers.

Was I wasting them on me? Was I being selfish for not agreeing to a surrogate knowing that we had a much better chance of conceiving using another woman’s uterus? Could I handle the disappointment I failed once again?

These are just a few of the questions that kept running through my mind. In the end, though, I told my husband that I was not ready to give up on my body, and I asked that he not give up either. He agreed. And just like that, we were trying again for what would likely be our last attempt at me carrying our child.

On March 11th, we transferred two of our last three donor egg embryos. It was pretty uneventful. We only told a few people. I didn’t even tell my family. I wanted to reduce the pressure as much as possible. I didn’t want to have to update everyone on every ache and pain and twinge. I didn’t want to keep everyone updated on how I was feeling. I wanted to be as stress-free as possible.

The two-week waiting period this time around was surprisingly pretty relaxed. Of course I thought about it every day, but I didn’t focus on every little thing that could or could not be a sign of pregnancy failure or a pregnancy. I was scheduled to have blood drawn done on a Friday, but for some reason, I had this overwhelming urge to pee on a stick the Tuesday before. My husband was on his way home from work so I figured he could be there to support me either way.

To my surprise, I got two pink lines! Two!! Two dark pink lines; the first of which showed up so quickly that I didn’t even have time to flush when I noticed!

I sat there in disbelief. When my husband got home I immediately showed him. I think it took him a minute to realize what I was showing him. I didn’t say much because I was so emotional.

It was a great day 🙂

I peed on a stick today and it was positive. I am not sure what will happen, but as of today I am pregnant.

I am pregnant…:)