4.4.16: 6 weeks 1 day
I woke up with a pit in my stomach and a sense of dread. I have an ultrasound in three days and I keep thinking something bad is going to happen. I just feel anxious and scared. I hate feeling this way because I know better. As an OB/GYN, I know that everything has looked great so far, and I should be relaxed and positive. As an infertility patient, I feel panicked and doubtful.
I worry when I have symptoms, and I worry when I don’t. It’s a no win situation for me, it seems.
I have to find a way to let the positive feelings win over the negative ones. I know stress and worry isn’t good for me right now. I am still working and trying to keep my mind off of what is going on, but it’s nearly impossible. I almost feel guilty for worrying and thinking negative thoughts. I feel if something happens it will be my fault.
Today has been a rough day.
But I will get through it. I need to relish in these days that pass until I’m told something otherwise.
Despite what is going on in my head, my heart keeps remindning me that I am pregnant.
I am pregnant…still 🙂